The best strategy I ever learned for overcoming fear was completely accidental, at least for me. Today I still thank my skydiving instructor for this lesson, which I have applied to achieving my goals ever since that day almost 20 years ago.
I always wanted to skydive. The thought of the adrenaline rush of the freefall followed by floating through the sky after the parachute opens was both intriguing and exhilarating. A friend recommended a skydiving school a few hours from where I lived. So, I booked a class and drove early Saturday morning to the middle of nowhere for my first jump.
I checked in and joined a group of 8 people in a classroom, where we spent hours learning all the most critical information for a solo jump. Of course, it wasn’t truly solo, because you are accompanied by 2 instructors during the freefall until the point that your parachute opens. After that, you are on your own to float back to land.
We were all very nervous, especially after being delayed for extra hour by fog. We finally climbed into the airplane and took off. After reaching 12,500 feet in the skies above central California, it was time to jump. When instructed, I walked up to the open door of the airplane with an instructor on each side of me.
Above the noise of the engines, one of them said, “Okay, we’re going to jump on three.” And he began the countdown, “one, two…” then suddenly I was out of the door! What happened to three?
Between the adrenaline rush of the free fall and the sense of pure relief and accomplishment almost 60 seconds later, when I managed to open my chute properly, the missing number three was forgotten.
The canopy flight and drifting down slowly to the earth from 5000 feet was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had. It was peaceful and beautiful and exhilarating. I guided my chute easily and slowly back to the landing field and was immediately ready to go again!
We had some time before the second jump, and I replayed the experience as I recovered my breath and waited. Finally, curiosity got the best of me, and I asked the instructor to explain. “You said we were going to jump on three, but I only heard two. What happened?”
He explained, after years of experience, they’ve learned an important tactic. If they count to three, many students will panic and grab onto the airplane door, rather than jumping. Once they grab hold, there is almost no convincing them to actually make the jump. Fear wins. Now, the instructors don’t allow fear to hold you back. They pull you out the door before your brain has a chance to confirm that you are actually ready.
As I drove home that evening, I turned this information over in my mind. Skydiving students make a decision to skydive, pay a significant amount of money for the experience and invest hours in the lessons.
It is something they want to do, but when it is time to act, they allow fear to stop them from achieving their goal.
How often in our daily lives do we do exactly the same?
Whether it is starting a business or changing careers, or other big change, we make a decision to take a big leap and achieve a goal or a dream. We invest time learning about what we need to do. We invest money in training and preparation. We make sure we understand how to avoid potential obstacles, and we pack a parachute to get us to safety. We are ready to jump, and we stop ourselves from making the leap.
Why do we do this? For many people, it is because we don’t feel ready enough. What if we missed something important in the instructions? What if we’re not smart enough, strong enough, or (fill in the blank) enough? What if, we fail?
The truth is, no matter how much you prepare, you will never feel ready.
It is healthy to be a little scared of a big leap. It makes you consider your decision and protects you from jumping without a chute.
Ever since that first jump, when I am feeling afraid to do something new, I remind myself to “Jump on Two.” In other words, I make the leap before I feel ready. Why? Because I know that if I hesitate, the fear wins, and I miss out on what could possibly be the experience of a lifetime.
If you are contemplating a big change, use these 5 strategies to make the leap and stop holding yourself back.
- Consider your decision carefully
Before investing time, money and effort in pursuing something new, think about why you want it. Why is it important to do now? What will be the benefits when you achieve it? Are there other less risky ways of getting those same benefits? What will you miss if you don’t do it? Being clear about what you want and why you want it makes it easier later to successfully navigate around the obstacles and to have the motivation to keep going, even when you are scared.
- Know what to expect
Equally important to knowing your reasons for making a change, is understanding what you can expect when you make it. You wouldn’t skydive or go rock climbing without learning from the experts. So why would you make a life-changing decision with any less information? Talk to people who have done it successfully. Talk to people who have tried and failed. Learn what is important to succeed and understand what could go wrong.
- Prepare for things to go wrong
Most of the 4+ hours of training for skydiving didn’t focus on the airplane, the proper form or even how to open the parachute. It focused on what to do if any of those factors didn’t go as planned. At least as important as knowing what to do correctly, is knowing what to do when something goes wrong. With big life changes, it is almost guaranteed that something won’t go the way you thought it would. Know that and prepare for it. Have a plan B and a plan C. Many people think that preparing for things to go wrong is pessimistic, but it is much better to have a plan to solve potential problems before they occur. You don’t want to be figuring out how to open your back-up chute after your main chute has already failed.
- Plan your landing
In skydiving, after opening the chute, it is important to focus next on getting to your destination safely. You first assess where. you are based on visible landmarks, and then navigate safely toward the target, avoiding trees and powerlines. As you prepare to make a big change, don’t forget this important step. Know what your destination looks like and how to reach it safely. It could be a coach helping you navigate to the target, or simply a set of tools and strategies to help you assess your location and set your direction.
- Feel the fear and jump anyway
If you have reached this step, you are prepared. You’ve done the work, gotten the training, set a course and considered possible obstacles. You are ready. There’s always more you could learn, more books to read, or more money to save.
Don’t confuse preparation with procrastination. Make the jump.
Otherwise you could miss out on the experience of a lifetime.